Blog Our City

Our LA County Fair Date + Being a Gay Interracial Couple In Public

Let’s talk about the elephant in the room.

Last weekend, we went to the very public, LA County Fair. Yes, it was AMAZING even despite not being able to eat fried Oreos because the line for funnel cakes was shorter.  By now, I’m sure most of you know that we are, in fact, in a relationship. And for those of you who didn’t know, well…surprise! Being two girl-women in a relationship definitely has its perks. Like not feeling pressure to conform to gender roles, sharing clothes, and doing super “gay” things without having to immediately declare “no homo!” because we are all about the homo here. For the most part, being gay is pretty uneventful. Until you make the sometimes dreaded decision to actually leave the house. Being in public is where we realize that being an interracial gay couple can be a bit more eventful than we would like.

They say there are two sides to every story.

the angelinos los angeles fair LA county fair lesbian interracial gay couple experience question q&a arianaraw the angelinos los angeles fair LA county fair lesbian interracial gay couple experience question q&a arianaraw the angelinos los angeles fair LA county fair lesbian interracial gay couple experience question q&a arianaraw

So we’re going to put this saying to the test and tell you guys both sides of what it’s like being an interracial gay couple in public.

Love is love. Click To Tweet

Ariana’s side:

the angelinos los angeles fair LA county fair lesbian interracial gay couple experience question q&a arianaraw

Hannah and I have polar opposite experiences while we’re together in public. This has to do with two major reasons my anxiety – which I talk about in this post and me being hyper-aware of people possibly judging me and staring at me because of my skin color and androgynous appearance. If I were saying this out loud and in front of Hannah, this is the part where she’d say “they’re staring because you’re so beautiful.”  (Awwww, cute, right?) Anyways, when it comes to my identity in public, I have to take into consideration that I’m black, gay AND androgynous looking. While for the most part Hannah only has to consider the fact that she’s gay.

I usually feel insecure with my identity in public because of how black people are viewed in society. I’m not insecure about any of my identities, but when you add all 3 together, being black, gay, and androgynous in public can cause confusion and a lot of unwanted attention, and that, we both know.

We get a lot of stares when we hold hands in public.

For the most part, I’m pretty good at ignoring the various looks and stares from people when Hannah and I hold hands. Hannah doesn’t mind PDA, while I tend to think all eyes are on us when it comes to PDA. Having an Anxiety disorder has taught me many things, one of my favorites is how to NOT make eye contact with people. I tend to walk with a purpose in hopes of successfully ignoring those around me. Because I walk with a purpose, it’s easy for me to not look directly at others but to focus on where I am and where I’m going.

I may be super focused in public but it doesn’t mean I don’t notice when people are staring at us.

Many people, mostly men, have to turn their heads to double take at us because apparently, they didn’t get a good enough look the first time. When this happens, it usually makes me insecure because I’m afraid these people will create conflict. These moments usually end in one of two ways. 1. I ask Hannah if we can “unravel” to put an end to the unwanted attention. Or 2. we share a few disgusted comments amongst each other and continue about our business.

Being a happy couple makes the unwanted attention worth it.

Every relationship has its own challenges. Hannah and I work really well together. We work really hard at not letting any negative forces come in between us. And if for any reason negative forces do interfere with our relationship, some good old-fashioned grown-up communication usually stops the negativity dead in its tracks.

Hannah’s Side:

the angelinos los angeles fair LA county fair lesbian interracial gay couple experience question q&a arianaraw

Being the white half of an interracial couple is a role that comes with plenty of controversy. Actually, interracial couples as a unit tend to be fairly controversial, and are often criticized from every angle regardless of race or gender. Whether that criticism accuses a partner of color of self-hatred or a white partner of fetishization, the outcome is the same: controversy and, consequently, attention. Layer on the added complication of lesbianism, and you’ve pretty much got a walking attraction.

In the context of women, I’m fairly unremarkable on my own.

I’m white, feminine, and straight-passing- traits that ensure my safety and privilege in society. I think this is a fair enough explanation for why I’m not bothered by stares, and why PDA is second nature. In my life, I’ve rarely had to question the appropriateness of showing affection or the potential consequences of drawing negative attention to myself. Because of this, I’ve inadvertently drawn a lot of attention to us simply by forgetting about the realities of being a part of something deemed unusual by the general public.

Honestly, I don’t really feel like I have a true comment on my experience of being part of an interracial gay couple in public.

However, I do have a comment on what it’s like to be a part of Ariana’s experience. My experience is as an otherwise socially acceptable counterpart to a woman who essentially checks all the boxes of what is negatively judged by strangers. When I think about our public experience, I’m usually thinking about how to make her life a little bit easier. If we are holding hands, I pull her quickly through crowds to somewhere with more space. If someone double takes, I ignore them, and if we get comments, I ignore those too. I would say something every time if it were just about me, but it’s not: it’s about me and her as a team.

The way I look at it, I’m fine either way.

If we let loose in public, I’m fine. I don’t have anxiety and white people are not racially profiled. Likewise, if we are more conservative and restrained in public, I’m equally as okay. I’m spending time with the woman who makes me the happiest, and holding back affection doesn’t take away from my experience with her. However, Ariana’s experience would be completely different in either of those scenarios. Because of this, I really try to do what’s in my power to make our public experience feel more comfortable for her. People are weird and creepy and intrusive, but I can’t control them. That’s the unfortunate reality of being a couple like us.

But, I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

Even with our public experience, being with Ariana is the most normal part of my life. She is 100% my better half, and getting unwanted negative attention in public is a small price for what we have with each other.

But, ANYWAYS…

Here are the rest of our pictures from our fair date! We had so much fun taking these, and this date was the perfect way to say our final goodbyes to summer. Although, one thing we haven’t said goodbye to are those fried Oreos… (we’re coming for you!)

the angelinos los angeles fair LA county fair lesbian interracial gay couple experience question q&a arianaraw the angelinos los angeles fair LA county fair lesbian interracial gay couple experience question q&a arianaraw the angelinos los angeles fair LA county fair lesbian interracial gay couple experience question q&a arianaraw the angelinos los angeles fair LA county fair lesbian interracial gay couple experience question q&a arianaraw   the angelinos los angeles fair LA county fair lesbian interracial gay couple experience question q&a arianaraw   the angelinos los angeles fair LA county fair lesbian interracial gay couple experience question q&a arianaraw  the angelinos los angeles fair LA county fair lesbian interracial gay couple experience question q&a arianaraw the angelinos los angeles fair LA county fair lesbian interracial gay couple experience question q&a arianaraw  the angelinos los angeles fair LA county fair lesbian interracial gay couple experience question q&a arianaraw the angelinos los angeles fair LA county fair lesbian interracial gay couple experience question q&a arianaraw the angelinos los angeles fair LA county fair lesbian interracial gay couple experience question q&a arianaraw the angelinos los angeles fair LA county fair lesbian interracial gay couple experience question q&a arianaraw the angelinos los angeles fair LA county fair lesbian interracial gay couple experience question q&a arianaraw the angelinos los angeles fair LA county fair lesbian interracial gay couple experience question q&a arianaraw  the angelinos los angeles fair LA county fair lesbian interracial gay couple experience question q&a arianaraw the angelinos los angeles fair LA county fair lesbian interracial gay couple experience question q&a arianaraw

There you have it, folks. Thanks for reading!

If you haven’t already, make sure to check out our last post about our fall decor home reveal here!

24 Comments

  1. daneen rogers

    September 22, 2017 at 11:26 am

    Aw you guys are both beautiful! Congrats on finding love 🙂 And don’t you ever worry about what other people think, the only thing that should matter to you, IS YOU!

    1. theangelinos

      September 23, 2017 at 10:33 pm

      Thank you for your sweet words, Daneen!

  2. brepeablog

    September 23, 2017 at 12:11 pm

    It’s a shame that in 2017, you both have to deal with stranger’s closed – mindedness. And sadly I think we’ve taken even more steps backwards with the latest administration, but let’s not get into that lol By the way, I LOVE your bright and colorful photos!

    1. theangelinos

      September 23, 2017 at 10:35 pm

      Thank you! We had a blast haha. It’s definitely such a shame. We’re fortunate enough to have a large support system though.

  3. Imran

    September 23, 2017 at 9:59 pm

    awsome article

    1. theangelinos

      September 23, 2017 at 10:36 pm

      We’re so happy you enjoyed it!

  4. Stephanie Liu

    September 23, 2017 at 10:03 pm

    Love that you both support one another and look out for each other. Thank you for sharing your story with us. One client who I manage social media for is a family of two gay dads and two adopted daughters. It’s refreshing to see other LGBT bloggers sharing their experiences online.

    1. theangelinos

      September 23, 2017 at 10:46 pm

      Sharing our experinces and our life is the main reason we started this blog. All we can hope for is that our life and experiences inspire or help someone out there.

  5. In and Out of Vegas

    September 23, 2017 at 10:08 pm

    I just subscribed to you guys. First your photos and your look..you guys look like you should be on TV. I am serious. I felt like I was reading excerpts from a script to a documentary in the making. It was so interesting to read both of your perspectives and to find out that was the reaction you would get from people. I wouldn’t have thought that. I actually thought people didn’t care. Or maybe that is how I think and think that is how the rest of the world thinks. At any rate, I subscribed and followed you on Instagram 🙂

    1. theangelinos

      September 23, 2017 at 10:54 pm

      Thank you so much for reading and subscribing. We would expect people not to care either. People might be more surprised to see us together in public more than anything. At least that’s what we hope lol

  6. Dr Kerri O'Donnell

    September 23, 2017 at 10:48 pm

    I don’t know if this helps at all, Ariana, but I am a white, middle-aged, straight woman on the other side of the planet –
    and I think you are very beautiful. Maybe that really is why some people stare. I’m also the mother of a gay daughter, and we are in the middle of a messy #MarriageEquality ‘debate’ here in Australia. I’m hoping that people everywhere will become less intrusive as they learn more about the world around them. In the meantime, thank you both for posting this, and showing how conscious and considerate you are of each other. We can all learn from that.

    1. theangelinos

      September 23, 2017 at 11:00 pm

      Thank you, Kerri! your comment was open and heart warming. We felt like it was important to address the elephant in the room. There’s something to learn from everyone and if we keep our minds open, we just might receive the message.

  7. beautyblogger343

    September 24, 2017 at 8:50 am

    You two are so cute together! I hate to hear when people have to feel uncomfortable in their own skin. People really do SUCK sometimes. I may not be gay but I am a white women in a biracial relationship with a black man. I have 1 caucasian daughter and 2 bi racial daughters and 1 bi racial son. My children are homeschooled because of the cruelty and racism in the schools here in the “dirty south”. You would think being 2017 people would worry about they damn self instead of what everyone else is doing. Just remember! Love heals ALL!
    Karen @ http://www.simplyeverythingbeauty.com

    1. theangelinos

      September 24, 2017 at 3:04 pm

      Thank you for your kind words. We are so sorry to hear that your kids have to be homeschooled because of all of the hate and cruelty out there. We don’t have kids yet but we can’t imagine how much strength it takes to raise children in an environment that isn’t positive. On a brighter note. Ariana was homeschooled for her sophomore to senior years in high school. Homeschooling has some wonderful benefits! We are sending you and your family nothing but positive vibes.

  8. Stephanie Kay

    September 26, 2017 at 10:25 am

    First off, your photos are absolutely stunning – you both look like models! The one of Hannah kneeling looks like it could have been in Vogue. Secondly, I’m so sorry that being out in public can be so frustrating. I too suffer from anxiety and know how it feels to want to just relax and enjoy life, and not worry about others ruining it or adding unnecessary drama / conflict to your life. I will never understand why it’s so hard for some people to let two people who are in love just be. Love is a beautiful thing, no matter who it’s between, and I feel truly sorry for those who can’t grasp that very simple concept. Keep doing whatever makes you two happy! 🙂

    1. theangelinos

      September 26, 2017 at 10:30 am

      Thank you so much! we had so much fun capturing these moments together. For the most part, we ignore any negativity directed at us. We’re very good at remaining positive as often as possible. Thank you again for stopping by and reading.

  9. Joanna Clute

    September 27, 2017 at 11:16 am

    It still sounds like you all have fun when you go out. I can’t say I know what you go through.

    1. theangelinos

      October 2, 2017 at 12:42 pm

      We always have a blast together!

  10. torontoshay

    September 29, 2017 at 11:04 pm

    I loved reading this. This is a unique and important perspective on all of the layers and factors that come into play in our relationships. I also love your blog and think that more people neee to read this and know about you ladies. You are very special ❤️

    1. theangelinos

      October 2, 2017 at 12:44 pm

      Thank you so much, Shay! we always try our best to remain true and honest.

  11. Kim

    October 1, 2017 at 1:47 pm

    You two are as cute as can be! I love that you love and support each other and really try to be aware of what the other is feeling. That’s what a successful relationship looks like. I also enjoying thinking about what we have in common. While you’re young, cute lesbians on the west coast and I’m a middle-aged straight housewife on the east coast, we all like fairs and funnel cakes!

    1. theangelinos

      October 2, 2017 at 1:01 pm

      Thank you, Kim! and we sure do! I think the older we get and the more we learn, we realize how much we can have in common with people we probably wouldn’t suspect. That’s one of the many beauty’s in life.

  12. Pollyann

    October 1, 2017 at 3:30 pm

    Very beautiful and bright photos, love them!

  13. Imani Tracy

    October 5, 2017 at 10:53 am

    It sucks that you have to deal with that. Ignore it and keep living. Y’all are a beautiful couple.

Leave a Reply