Oh! Are you guys roommates?
We get asked this question enough to feel some type of way about it. As two young women in a relationship (it feels weird to say two young women ew) people are constantly trying to figure us out when we’re together. We get asked questions as if people are trying to get us to say “yes, we’re giant lesbians!” Is that what you guys want to hear?
We usually don’t tell strangers that we’re in a relationship if we can avoid it.
Meaning that if we don’t have to disclose our relationship status, we don’t. We don’t come right out and say we’re girlfriends for many reasons.
This is a weird world that we live in. Although we have never had any negative encounters offline, we don’t like to invite any either. We’re aware that there are a lot of people out there who don’t agree with our relationship (as if it’s an open debate) or they don’t support or want to see couples like us in public. Because we’re lesbian women in an interracial relationship, our risk for danger and unwanted opinions goes way up. So we usually answer the question “Are you two ladies roommates?” with “something like that.” It feels degrading. We aren’t roommates! Why do we have to say that in order to feel safe?
I’m not sure if asking if two girls are roommates is a conversation starter but when it comes to strangers, we’d rather talk about something else. This protects us from unwanted comments or any awkward pauses that may follow if we disclose our relationship status. Ultimately, we rather just not have to say unless we know you or feel comfortable around you.
3. To spare the awkward looks.
We’re so sorry (we aren’t) that seeing two lesbian women in person is shocking. Who knew they existed offline! If we do disclose that we’re in a relationship, we usually always get some amount of awkward look or silence. It’s just awkward guys. If you can’t handle the answer, please don’t ask.
We’re sure people are curious as to what we are. But we don’t want to have to answer any questions about what we are in the front of the cashiers line while others are in line behind us.
Overall, if we’re in a comfortable setting where we feel safe enough to disclose our relationship status, one of us will just come right out and say “she’s my girlfriend.” That is if they didn’t already see us holding hands.
We try to be careful with PDA
Showing PDA (public displays of affection) can be scary. Especially for me. The world tends to disappear for Hannah while we’re together sometimes while the world gets louder and I become hyper aware. We compromise by making sure we both feel safe before any PDA. We obviously take into consideration where we are and if PDA is too risky. The last thing we want is more older men staring at us like they’ve seen a ghost.
Well, that’s all for today folks!
Until next time,
Ariana & Hannah