An alternative title would be “You changed? What? Why?”
What is this obsession with being upset when people change? Even if it’s for the better! We get it, you met someone, you may have liked things about them. You don’t want them to change because you’ve already been there and you just like who they are. Or maybe someone staying the same is easier because it’s familiar and it’s easier to accept familiarity versus the alternative. Whatever the reason, people change and if people change for the better. Why don’t we clap for them more?
We have changed a lot since we met.
Our styles are different, we talk differently, our interests are different and, last but not least, we have a lot more hair now than we did when we met (you can read more about our hair here). We’re so proud of each other and our growth, and we make sure to communicate this to each other nearly every day. Why? Because each day we’re faced with obstacles, some more difficult than others, and it’s honestly emotionally trying, but we continue to grow and to learn more each day.
With so much growth within our two year relationship journey, we find ourselves asking, “what’s important to us right now?” So we’re going to get into that.
1. Being nice to people
Yes, we said it. Being nice to people has become important to us. We’re both fairly nice people, genuinely. Sometimes, we’re too nice. But in this culture of “be nice, for what?” we can sometimes forget the power of kindness. Everyone has a story and we don’t know half of it. We get it, some people are just assholes and maybe they caught you on the wrong day or the wrong chapter in your life, but even on our worst days, we always try to remember that it’s a moment, and whatever we make it out to be, it will be.
2. Being motivated
Girllll, staying motivated takes motivation alone. Not to say we never had any, but we aren’t getting any younger. We’ve realized that in order to get the things that we truly want out of life, we’re going to have to work and we need to work hard. We literally have to build our life from the ground up, we have to take risks that we haven’t taken before to get some things that we never had before. Motivation is the powerful driving force behind our every day lives. We try to accomplish something every day, that we didn’t the day before. Being motivated has opened so many doors for us in the last year and a half.
Don’t get any wrong ideas. We have always taken care of our mind, body, and soul. But again, we aren’t getting any younger. We actually care about what moisturizers and skincare products we buy or how much salt or sugar that we consume. We have also learned to prioritize ourselves first as often as possible for our mental health. Our mental health has become one of our top priorities.
4. Doing what we want
It’s my life and I want to live it! Seriously, we can either sit around catering to everyone else’s needs or we can start making decisions that make us happy. We don’t like to keep misery company and in order to stay far away from misery, we have to do what is best for us as individuals. Self-preservation is real and it’s our responsibility to make sure we get what we need.
Although, because it’s our life, it’s pretty hard to avoid having plans and expectations for what we are going to do with them. That’s why it’s become important for us to let go of our past plans and expectations of what we were going to do/accomplish in our lifetime. Letting go of the path we had planned for ourselves has brought nothing but good things, and keeping our expectations flexible also keeps us happy with our successes.
Ultimately, success is only determined by what you want. We’ve learned that success on paper (working for a huge company, getting an advanced degree) doesn’t make us feel happy or successful, because we don’t want those things. If we don’t want those things, than how can we possibly enjoy them? Rather, we’ve learned that prioritizing our freedom, and the ability to work for ourselves, is what makes us the happiest.
5. Speaking positivity into existence.
Ahhh, the power of communication. Over the course of our relationship, we have learned to ask for what we want. Small or large. Not only to people but to the universe. We believe that words have power and if you speak about it enough, you just might speak it into your life. For example: “I would love a little extra money to buy that Gucci bag I’ve been wanting for a year.” Next thing you know, you get a raise or a bonus so you can afford that bag. Go get that bag girl! You deserve it. If you want something, ask for it, because closed mouths don’t get fed. Of course, we remain grateful and humble. We’re also grateful for things we didn’t get because our happiness doesn’t depend on what we ask for and receive. Sometimes, we ask for things we never needed in the first place. The power of speaking positivity into our life has been real.
6. Going with the flow.
Going with the flow is something we’re both great at and not great at simultaneously. It sounds impossible, but what I mean is, we’re both naturally “go-with-the-flow” (if the flow is right) type of people. But we also have 10,000 questions at any given moment about everything. We can go with the flow, but where’s the flow going? Do you get me? We’ve learned to not need every question to be answered about ourselves or life at all times. Sometimes, you just have to keep it moving. If there’s an answer, you’ll get one in time and with patience.
We’re our biggest critics, and that’s just life. We’ve learned to be okay with not knowing what we want all the time. Sometimes we just don’t know what we want, and that’s okay. Whatever will be, will truly be. We can control a lot of things in our life, but some things don’t need to be controlled, they just need time. There are some times in life where it’s truly easier and more healthy to just go with the flow than to go against the flow. We figured that growth for us is inevitable, so we might as well kick back, relax, and enjoy the flow.
Thats all for today folks,
Until next time,
Ariana & Hannah